Driven

The house, the habits, the template.

The friendship that has stretched 24 years.  What components are these?  What roles do they play?  What relevance, what weight do they hold? 

Are they intrinsic or superfluous?  Are they the side effects of love?  So if the love has worn out, is it better to keep pushing with the car in gear and hope the engine will kick in, or is it time to find a new pace?  Because with relationships, one cannot just change the battery.  Some batteries are rusted into place.  

Sometimes everything under the bonnet is welded into one unit.  It protects it from fragmentation, from coming apart.  So do I push the old model, build my muscles and get used to the dysfunctionality for the sake of maintaining the unit.  Or do I ask everyone to take out all the personal effects they can carry.  Things will be left behind and lost. 

We are going to walk.  We will save ourselves stress, but be exposed to new elements.  We may even find another car that we can afford.  Even then we do not know how reliable it will be, or if the great upheaval will be worthwhile. 

The car should have gone in for regular maintenance, but some thought the costs too prohibitive.  Now it costs nothing and yet so much to leave everything we had known.

31 January, 2010.